Something Sassy
by Miss Redneck
Summary: Ranger is experiencing emotions he's never had before. What can Steph and his friends do to help? Established Babe. Hopefully, will be a series of One-Shots.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is my first dabble into writing for strangers. I know it's short, but I would appreciate any and all reviews. Any and all familiar characters belong to JE.**

**Something Sassy**

Ranger POV

OK, I have to admit and own up to officially needing help. Until you admit there is a problem, there's no way to get help or seek a solution. The people closest to me have attempted an intervention and I have threatened to send all of them to countries they can't even pronounce. But now I have to ask for help from these same people that I have threatened. I don't have a clue how I found myself so out of control and in this position. Hell, I'm a badass mercenary. I have done things on missions that the general population has only read about in fiction best sellers. I've done things in my life that Seal Team Six won't touch. I'm a mean son of a bitch and now I look like a wimp to my team and the rest of the world. My street cred is gone and I may never get it back. I'm out of control and not sure, for the first time in my life, what to do next. Let me tell you what started this downward spiral of my so called existence.

First, let me say that until six months ago, I was the happiest man on Earth. My Babe and I finally pulled our heads out our asses and committed ourselves to each other. Okay, before you say anything, it was mostly my fault, but I finally saw the error of my ways and hopefully will spend the rest of my life making it up to my Babe. In the future we may get married or may not and we may have kids or may not. We are in a relationship and I'll do whatever Steph wants to do. She lives with me and works for my company. We work side by side and I couldn't be happier with my life partner. But then six months ago a monkey wrench got thrown into the middle of my perfect existence and shook my world.

It all started on a Friday night when Tank and I were meeting one of my informants who had pertinent info on a high dollar skip that we had been looking for. We were meeting behind an abandoned service station on the outskirts on Trenton and we did receive information that would lead to the capture of our skip. After our CI left, Tank and I were leaning against my Turbo discussing our next step in the apprehension when we heard movement in the high weeds next to where we were parked. We immediately pull our Glocks and assume the standard defensive position. Tank moved to the left and I moved to the right. We moved together like a well-oiled machine, always aware of our surroundings. Until now.

"What is that, Ranger"?

"Not sure, Tank. Maybe a kitten?"

"No man, that's not a kitten. I've had kittens and they don't sound like that. With all that hair, I'm not sure what it is. Let me get the flashlight out of the car and we can shed some light on the situation."

"Hurry, Tank, it's walking toward me. If it's some sort of rabid field rat, I'm just going to stomp it. I don't want the thing to climb my leg, bite me and then I have to have a bunch of shots in the belly."

By the time Tank had a flashlight on the situation, the critter had climbed onto the toe of my boot and appeared to be either asleep or dead. I wasn't sure which until I poked it with my other boot and it make a tiny little sound that somewhat resembled a bark.

"Reckon that's some sort of dog, Rangeman"?

"I've never seen a puppy this small, Tank. I guess we can't leave it here..."

?

?

Tank reached down to pick up this tiny piece of white fur from my shoe and I swear to God the piece of fur growled at him. Tank jumped back about three feet. Keep in mind Tank has wrestled snakes in Columbian jungles and this little piece of fur made him jump like a bull frog. Wuss! So, I took the bull by the horns and picked the little fellow up. He fit in the palm of my hand and when I held him up to get a better look, I found the clearest, bluest eyes that seemed to stare straight into my soul.

We found a 24 hour animal hospital to get the piece of fur checked out. The vet's best guess was that it was a Yorkie/Poodle mix and was probably six to eight weeks old and seemed to be in perfect health. It turned out to be a she and reminded me of Steph when we offered her food. She chowed down and kept growling at Tank like she thought he was going to take her food away. The vet said that she was a sassy little thing, so I somehow started calling her Sassy and I knew I would take her home with me. He also told me that she would be the typical purse puppy, but the look I gave him left no doubt in his mind that I DO NOT carry a purse. But before we left the animal hospital, I had purchased a tiny collar, halter, leash, food, bed, squeak toys, chew toys, itty bitty dog cookies, puppy pads and a perfect little doggie carrier.

It was probably a good thing that Steph and her friends were doing a weekend getaway at Point Pleasant since I had just brought a dog home. I felt like a little kid sneaking in a puppy behind my mama's back. Most kids go through this period in childhood where they want a puppy, but I never had the urge. Even if I would have had that urge, surely it would have been for a pit bull or Rottweiler, not a purse puppy. What the hell is wrong with me! I will have to find Sassy a good home. This whole thing was starting to get embarrassing even if she was so cute with those blue eyes and the way she growled at Tank. That night I placed the little doggie bed next to my bed just in case she woke up afraid during the night.

The next morning something woke me up scratching on my bed. I looked over the edge and there was little Sassy wagging her tail so hard it looked like the rotors on a helicopter. I was expecting her to lift off at any moment. Damn, she was too cute. She followed me into the bathroom and while I did what I needed to do, she did what she had to do on her puppy pad. Every step I made, she followed. She had this inept ability to stay out from under my feet and not get stepped on. She seems to be such a smart little thing to only be ankle high. She would be the perfect pet, if only she were a German Shepard. After much thought, I made the executive decision to present Sassy to Steph as the perfect gift. Surely she would appreciate this gift as much as I do. Hopefully. Making that important decision made the trip with Sassy to the control room and my office much easier. Well, somewhat easier. Seriously, it wasn't easy at all.

At first Brown and Santos had the balls to try and make fun of me.

"Cuz, what is it"?

"It's a puppy Santos and her name is Sassy. She's a surprise for Steph".

"Seriously, Cuz, where do the batteries go"?

They eventually stopped ribbing me and before long the three of us were all on the floor playing with the dog. That was until Tank came in and Sassy started barking and growling at the big man. Now that was some funny shit.

I wish you could have seen the expression on my Babe's face when I presented her with my surprise. Boy, was she surprised.

"WOW, I'm really surprised. What exactly is it, Carlos"?

I explained to her how we had found the poor little thing and how it would have just laid there and died if I had not rescued her. I told her about the big blue eyes looking at me. I talked about Sassy for over an hour and the whole time Steph's expression had not changed. I wasn't getting a good read on her thoughts. I like to think see was just in awe of her gift. Yeah, that was it.

Unfortunately for my Babe, Sassy didn't quite take to her as well as I would have hoped. Sure, they liked each other, but I was the one who Sassy still wanted to follow around all day, not Steph. And I let her. She started going to the gym with me every morning. She tried to get on the treadmill to run with me, but her little legs just couldn't run that fast. So, I placed her on the treadmill next to me and with it on the lowest speed, she could run next to me. When I was on the mats sparing, she would watch patiently on the sidelines until I was finished beating the crap out of someone. For some reason the Merry Men had been looking at me strangely lately.

One night on a stake out, we inadvertently discovered something interesting. Yes, I did take my dog along on a stake out. What's wrong with that? You got a problem with it? Didn't think so! Sassy and Tank are finally getting along better with each other as long as he doesn't touch her food. This particular night we had been watching a certain warehouse for nearly three hours to no avail. No movement at all. Sassy had been laying across my arm, looking out the window when she suddenly began growling. We put on our night visions and caught the movement of our two perks trying to sneak in the back door of the warehouse. Needless to say, our bank account was much larger and I had Ella grill a steak for my Sassy the next day.

I admit it was probably overkill when I talked to Hector about a tiny Kevlar vest and a tracking chip. And it was probably over the top to get a baby sitter while we went out for dinner, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. I don't care what they think, the doggie spa and hot pink nail polish was a good idea. She came back all fluffy and smelled so good. She was such a pretty little girl, yes she was. Okay, I didn't realize I was using baby talk until it was brought to my attention. My bad. And no, it wasn't my best moment when I bought matching Prada bags for Steph and Sassy. Especially when Steph carried hers and made me carry Sassy. It looked like I was carrying a damn purse. And I didn't see anything wrong with Sassy watching the Dog Whisperer. It's not my fault that it was on at the same time as that American Idol show Steph wanted to watch. Hey, we have more than one television.

So, that sort of brings us to the point we're at now. The love of my life and all of my friends insist I need help. Looking at everything from their point of view, I agreed to talk to the shrink that we have all used at one time or another after certain missions. He specializes in control issues and PTSD problems. He has helped me in the past and I'm sure he can again.

"Sassy. Sassy. Come on girl. Bring me your leash. We gotta go see Dr. Smith".


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Any and all recognizable characters belong to JE. Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed the first chapter. I wasn't expecting any and was totally pleased and surprised.**

**Something Sassy**

**Chapter 2**

I have been having weekly appointments with my shrink, Doc Smith, for the last month. He has several theories as to why I have developed, what some people think is an unhealthy relationship with my cute little dog, Sassy. His first theory is that perhaps during my formative childhood years, I really had a deep subconscious need to have a dog and never had that need satisfied. Being in the middle of four sisters and two brothers, it was sort of like the Middle Child Syndrome that you hear about. His second theory goes back to the guilt I felt from my absence and involvement when Julie was born. The paternal instincts were never clearly established with the baby and now seem to be popping up in my older age. His third theory is that subconsciously I would like Steph to become preggers. His fourth theory is that my current situation is a manifestation of the combination of all three of his other theories. I personally think his theories are a manifestation of his need to line his wallet with my hard earned money and get his older daughter through medical school. However, his bottom line seemed to be that there wasn't an unhealthy relationship between me and my dog. Unconventional, but not unhealthy.

Three months ago, my idiot cousin, Les began calling me Oddjob and Ceelow Green behind my back. The fool keeps forgetting that the whole building has cameras. Of course, I took him to the mats and gave him an attitude adjustment. His further punishment was that he had to take Sassy to the doggie park every day for two weeks. It turned out that it wasn't punishment at all since Sassy was a chick magnet and Les got stacks of phone numbers. So now his punishment is to not be allowed to walk my dog. Anywhere!

About that same time I had a serious medical scare with my Sassy.

"Babe, grab your purse, we've got to get Sassy to the vet."

"Carlos, what's wrong?"

"She's bleeding, Steph. Her little hoohaw is bleeding. Hurry up, we've got to go!"

"Carlos, have you NEVER been around girls before?"

"Stephanie, you know damn well I've been around women. I've got four sisters and you. But, I've never been around any dog until Sassy. Now, either you're going with me or you're staying here. If you're going, then let's go!"

"RANGER, hold on. I think she's in heat and that's the bleeding."

"What? ? ? Are you saying her hoohaw is bleeding because she's having a ... a period?" I slowly sat Sassy on the floor and took a couple of steps back. Damn, I think I need to sanitize my hands. "What do we do?"

"You need to talk with the vet about getting her spayed so we won't run the risk of having unwanted puppies in the future."

So, that's what I did. The vet suggested that I wait out her heat cycle and then we could get her spayed. He suggested keeping her away from boy dogs since they will go a little crazy when they recognize the smell. No truer words have ever been spoken. When I took her for a walk the next morning, there was a male dog waiting at the front door. He was an ugly little bastard who stalked my girl during our whole walk. I used my meanest, most demanding voice on that horny lowlife and he still wouldn't run away. He wasn't the least bit scared when I fired my gun. Sure, people scattered and called the cops, but that lowlife son of a bitch didn't even flinch.

About a month later, Sassy and I had an appointment with the vet for her surgery. The vet assured me it was a minor thing, but I couldn't help worrying about my little girl going under the knife. We were waiting in the pre-op area when the vet came in to examine Sassy before her surgery.

"Mr. Manoso, refresh my memory here. Wasn't Sassy in heat about a month ago?"

"Affirmative."

"Didn't I suggest you keep her away from male dogs while she was in estrus?"

"Affirmative. She hasn't been out of my sight since we had that conversation."

"What would Sassy have been doing the week before you noticed the bleeding?"

"Well, if I remember correctly, during the two weeks prior, my cousin and trusted employee, Lester, took her to play at the doggie park every day."

"Mr. Manoso, I don't know how to tell you, but you're going to be a daddy. Sassy is pregnant and it looks like she's about five to six weeks into the pregnancy. Congratulations. "

"Huh? Are you telling me that my sweet, little puppy has been taken advantage of? How could this have happened? Are you sure?"

"Most of the time swelling and bleeding are the indication that the bitch dog is in estrus. But in some cases, you may not have any outward signs that the dog is in heat but the female is, indeed, receptive to a coupling."

"Did you just call my little puppy a bitch just because she has been taken advantage of?"

"No offense meant, a bitch dog is just an accepted canine term for a female dog. We're going to put Sassy on prenatal vitamins and because she is so small, we need to see her back every week to check the size of her babies. Don't be surprised if when the time comes, she doesn't need a C-Section for delivery. That's not unusual for a dog her age and size."

When Sassy and I returned to the office, I sent for my idiot cousin.

"Les, I want you to tell me exactly what you did at the doggie park when you took my Sassy to play."

"Man it was fantastic. All the ladies love my sensitive side. I got over fifty names and numbers. Cuz, that's enough to keep me happily occupied for nearly a month."

"Santos, I was more curious as to what Sassy was doing while you were making these conquests and collecting phone numbers."

"Hell, Dude, she had a ball. She found all sorts of little doggies to be friends with. She played and played and played. You could even tell her little buddies didn't want her to leave. They followed her all the way to the exit gate."

"Les, we have a problem. My baby girl is knocked up and I'm holding you directly responsible. I cannot even express how disappointed I am with you right now. My little Sassy may even have to have a C-Section. I'm going to be offline for the rest of the day. Tell Tank and make sure I'm not disturbed."

I thank God every day that I have such a wonderful life partner in Stephanie Plum. She centers and calms me in a way that I would have never imagined. She made me see that this whole situation was a lesson and we all must learn from it. She made me see that even though things were not working out as I would have planned, there's good in everything. Sassy was going to have babies, so we were going to have puppies. We can look at it as a pain in the ass or embrace the fact that new life was coming into the world and be a part of it. We are choosing to be a part of it.

I have finally forgiven my idiot cousin, Lester, for the part he played in getting my baby knocked-up. Years ago, I could have been in the same situation, taking advantage of a chick magnet and not being concerned about the consequences. He is taking responsibility by paying all the vet bills incurred with the pregnancy and aftercare. He has apologized over and over, but I still think he's just relieved he isn't taking an extending holiday to a place not of his choosing. He was finally able to remember that the dog who paid the most attention to Sassy at the dog park was a little black and white poodle named Black Jack.

I have done a lot of research online regarding pregnant dogs and I've learned a great deal. When we see Sassy finding new places to take a nap, I know now that she is starting to nest and looking for a place to perhaps give birth. I found her a bigger bed to accommodate her perspective family and placed it in the corner of our massive closet. She seemed to be pleased with its placement.

As Sassy's pregnancy progressed, she grew bigger and bigger. I was really concerned when it looked like her belly was nearly dragging the floor. The vet assured me that it was not uncommon for the bitch to get this big. I think the vet now understands just how much calling Sassy a bitch has been pissing me off. After I helped him up from the floor, he explained that most dogs the size of Sassy have small litters, usually just two or three. Steph and I have been able to feel the puppies kicking and moving around. We have definitely felt three separate little lumps. Part of me is excited while the other part is scared and full of dread. I have to wonder if this is the way I will feel if my Babe ever gets pregnant. If so, I don't know if I'll survive.

When the time finally came, we were all prepared but still taken unaware. How the hell do you tell if a dog is in labor? Steph brought up the fact that her little belly seemed to be getting harder and contracting. We picked her up and rushed her to the vet's office. Sassy, not Steph. I didn't realize until we got there but we had a convoy of black vehicles following us. The vet was able to confirm that she was indeed in advanced labor and was going to have the dreaded C-Section. I felt like such a bad dog daddy that I had not realized she was in labor. I could have prevented all of that pain if I had only known. I would say that I would know next time, but after this, there will be no next time. Snip, Snip, Sassy.

Sassy was rushed into surgery and we were banished to the waiting area. The vet cleared Bobby to be with Sassy in surgery and act as his assistant. The small waiting room was overflowing with black uniforms and we all kept bumping into each other while impatiently waiting. About thirty minutes later, Bobby peeked out and let us know that Sassy was doing fine and she was the Mother of four babies. I was the proud Papi of two boys and two girls or did this make me a Grandfather? I've have to Google doggie protocol. We were able to visit the little family after Sassy woke up and I have to admit that it brought tears to my eyes. All four pups were nursing with Sassy was looking a little confused, like what the hell have I gotten myself into? The vet wanted to watch Sassy overnight, but we got to bring her and the babies home the next day.

It might have been over the top, but I didn't think handing out Cuban cigars was out of line.

Things really changed in the month after we returned home with Sassy and her pups. For one thing, Sassy had no interest in following in my footsteps all day. She had her own family now and was the perfect little Mother taking care of her offspring. She surprised us all when she shared her family with Tank. She still growled at him over food, but let him play with each puppy.

Steph told me immediately that we couldn't keep all four puppies, so we had to find qualified homes for three of them. We have decided to keep Baby Glock. Lester has spoken for Magnum, Steph's nieces are getting Sig and the surprise to us was that Steph's Dad fell in love with Beretta. He was finally getting a boy in the house. I loved the idea that even if we couldn't keep all the puppies, they would be with family and we would always be able to visit and check on them occasionally.

Just so you know, Steph and I found the perfect house about fifteen minutes from Rangeman. Now our pups have their own backyard and we are all looking to live happily ever after.

**A/N: This may be THE END or maybe not. I'm not going to mark it as complete yet because I still want throw on a couple of adventures sometime in future. I'd like it to be a series of One Shots. Thanks for your reviews.**


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